Sometimes I don't know what to do with all this time. I would try to do the things that I know I am capable of, but sometimes I notice that too much is happening.

What exactly are we working towards?

I remember you asking me just before we parted. I realised that maybe it actually matters where we might end up. “I just want to stay in this moment forever.” I remember hearing this line somewhere, maybe someone said it to me or maybe I heard it in a film. Actually, I was probably the one that said it. I always remember this sentence whenever I struggle to move on or when I don't know how or try to bring things to an end.

I had a headache the other day. Actually I have been getting the occasional headache but why do my headaches last the whole day? I couldn’t do anything, which meant I didn’t do anything to remedy it. I just waited for it to subside before doing anything else. I could’ve taken some painkillers but I didn’t. Only because I felt I have been taking them too often and I heard it is bad for your liver. I tried lying down on my sofa, but the sunlight was shining too strongly  onto the sofa and into my eyes. I was too stubborn to move, so I laid there, motionless, hoping that the sunlight would disappear. It didn’t. I went to my bed and tried taking a nap, but the headache worsened already, and it kept lingering in my head. I couldn’t ignore it. I couldn’t fall asleep.

All good things must come to an end.

And here I am trying to recall what was good to even begin with? Even if it was, how long would it take for us to realise it has gone bad? The more I think about it, the more I realised that I couldn’t just depend on some sort of fate or luck to bring me what I wanted.

Stop making these excuses. Everything we did, everything that we will do, all of it contributes. to every moment of our lives.

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